The never ending war

If you have read about the ongoing rat killing biltz in Orchard, LAMESHIT School of Thought is going to tell you why the rats will NEVER be annihilated.

Background: Rats are running rampart in Orchard Skatepark area and breeding like nobody's business affecting real businesses (nice huh!) in the area. So pest controllers area engaged to trap, poison, starve, ultimately killing the rats.

Why its not going to work?
Reason 1: There will always be rubbish
From the observation by LAMESHIT on Singaporeans, many of them do not care a hoot about leaving their rubbish uncleared. Their main response to this problem will always be to expect cleaners to clean after them. As such the rats will always have a steady supply of food so starving them really isn't a solution since it cannot be sustained unless NEA resolved to permanently post dedicated Bangla cleaners in the very heart of Orchard 24/7.

Reason 2: They are indestructible!
LAMESHIT has witnessed first hand how tough a rat can be when a rat fell 3 storeys yet lived to tell the tale; though it was not confirmed if the actual rat actually died after telling the tale. But yes, the rat is that tough that hitting the ground from 3 stories did not managed to kill it. They eat all sorts of rubbish and not die. Poison can work only if they egest enough of it to kill it, if not it would only be a matter of time before they grow immune to it.

Reason 3: The numbers are always there
The report has indicated a 95% success in eradicating rats, this would mean that the rat population has drastically decrease right? Yet any 14 year old who have paid attention in Science class can tell you that it would only mean good news to that remaining 5% and bad news to us. Why? The main factors for survival includes low competition for food, with most of the other rats now dead, the remaining ones only have much more food to go around. Even if there is a decline in rubbish (see reason 1), there would still be enough to go around since their numbers have decreased 19x but not the same for the amount of food.

Natural selection would probably also have gotten rid of the weaker ones, leaving the stronger ones who can withstand sufficient amounts of poison or smart enough to not eat that lousy grilled coconut amid that sea of rat glue. The result: Fatter and stronger rats who will re-populate their communities with their kind.


LAMESHIT School of Thought's suggested solution:
Solution 1: Introduce the their natural predator... the snake. Compared to rats who tear apart rubbish bags and spread deadly diseases like plague, snakes do not have such problems. Sure, snakes bite but they hardly kill (non-poisonous snakes), comparatively plague have killed millions worldwide. Snakes are slower and bigger thus easier to catch and they generally leave us alone. So LAMESHIT suggests unleashing snakes to do the job and re-capturing them when its done so they can be reused again (smart right!).

Solution 2: Since you can't kill them all then why not just leave them be. Urbanites have already learned to live with rats. Did you know there is at least one rat in every 50m radius in urban areas? We just leave them to their scavenging at night while we are sound asleep, so since there isn't anyone staying in Orchard at night, who cares?


Note: This is proudly brought to you by LAMESHIT School of Thought, it is totally nonsensical and should not be taken seriously.

Picture below is not for the faint-hearted!